Facebook vs LinkedIn

We all have two personalities: The one that wears slippers at a kopitiam, and the one that 'embraces unexpected opportunities' on LinkedIn.

Someone recently complained that LinkedIn is becoming too much like Facebook.

According to him, LinkedIn should remain professional.
No memes.
No gossip.
No casual posts.

In other words, please behave like you are inside a boardroom.

That made me think.

If both platforms were physical places, what would they look like?

Facebook would be a kopitiam.

People walk in wearing shorts and slippers.
Retirees sit there for three hours with one cup of kopi.
Someone is complaining about the government.
Someone is showing photos of their lunch.
Another person is arguing about football.

Occasionally someone tells a very long story about their cousin, their neighbour, or their neighbour’s cousin.

Everyone speaks Singlish.

Nobody is pretending to be important.
Everybody just talks.

Now LinkedIn.

LinkedIn is like a fine dining restaurant.

Everyone is properly dressed.
Everyone speaks very carefully.

They do not say things like normal people.

LinkedIn English is the only language where getting fired, quitting, and being unemployed can all be described as “an exciting new chapter.”

Nobody says “I got promoted.”

They say “I am humbled and honored to share that I have embarked on an exciting new professional journey.”

Nobody says “My boss screamed at me.”

They say “I am grateful for the high-pressure environment that fostered a culture of radical transparency and real-time feedback loops.”

Nobody says “My intern made a mistake.”

They say “Today a young intern reminded me about the importance of empathy in leadership.”

Nobody says "I got fired."

They say "After much reflection, I have decided to embrace an unexpected opportunity to rediscover my purpose."

Nobody says "I spent three hours scrolling TikTok."

They say "I spent the afternoon conducting an ethnographic study on emerging digital consumption trends to better pivot our brand strategy."

Even when people are just eating lunch, the post somehow becomes a life lesson about resilience.

But recently something interesting has happened.

The kopitiam crowd has started walking into the fine dining restaurant.

Suddenly, a meme appears in the fine dining room.

It’s like someone walked into a Michelin-star restaurant, pulled out a plastic stool, and started eating durian at the table.

Immediately some of the regular customers become uncomfortable.

“Please behave professionally,” they say.

“This is LinkedIn. Not Facebook.”

But here is the problem.
The people inside are still the same humans.
The only difference is the costume.
And the delusion that the costume changes who you are.
On LinkedIn, they do it while wearing a suit and adding a leadership lesson at the end.
LinkedIn is the guy wearing a tuxedo jacket on a Zoom call while secretly wearing shorts and slippers underneath.

The kopitiam never asked you to perform. LinkedIn did. And most of us just... went along with it.

So tell me honestly.
Are you the same person in both rooms?
Or does the LinkedIn version of you speak a completely different language?