How We Solve Problems, The Singapore Edition
When a problem appears, we don’t panic. We activate the Five Sacred Tools.
#1: Form a Task Force
Birth rate dropping? Form a committee.
Parenting stressful? Form a workgroup.
Cost of living rising? Form a panel to study it.
Nothing says “we are serious” like a 147-page report.
#2: Increase the Price
Too many cars? Increase COE.
Roads congested? Increase ERP.
Smoking is bad for health? Increase cigarette tax again.
Not enough revenue? Increase GST.
In Singapore, we don’t ban things immediately (except chewing gum).
We gently price you out of temptation.
We believe in freedom.
Freedom, plus GST.
#3: Make It a Law
No chewing gum.
No littering.
No jaywalking.
No durians on MRT.
Return your tray.
That’s why we are a fine city.
In other countries, they say “please don’t.”
We say “maximum penalty $1,000.”
Very clear. Very efficient.
#4: Launch a Campaign
Speak Good English.
Speak Mandarin.
Stop at Two.
Have Three or More.
Courtesy Campaign.
If behaviour needs adjusting, we design a poster.
If the poster doesn’t work, refer to Tool Number Three.
#5: Offer Vouchers
Cost of living high? CDC vouchers.
Utilities rising? U-Save rebates.
Go green? Climate rebates.
Our mailbox occasionally surprises us with money.
Other countries send bills.
We send both.
MRT runs.
Streets are clean.
Everything mostly works.
We complain. Then we queue anyway.
Which Sacred Tool is your favourite?
