micro memoir
The Last Reunion Dinner
Reunion dinner used to be rowdy at Lei Hwa Restaurant. Three tables, every year. Today, it is only a memory. They have left.
Latest
Satire
The Unofficial National Benefit Scheme for Singles Pte Ltd
There is one benefit scheme nobody announces. No portal. No application form. No income ceiling. The traditional principle is simple: Married people give. Unmarried people receive. In many Chinese families, if you are unmarried, you are still considered “eligible” for ang pow, whether you are 5, 25, or 65. Age
short story
How to Survive Chinese New Year Without Booking a One-Way Ticket to Nowhere
Confession. Chinese New Year is the only time of the year where you can gain three kilos, lose one month’s salary, and question your entire life direction within 48 hours. In the 1960s, we lived in kampong. We wore the same clothes every day. Chicken and bottled drinks were
Satire
“Singapore plans to regulate blind boxes to manage gambling inducement risks.”
Breaking news. Buying a ten-dollar mystery box with a plastic figurine inside is dangerous. Buying a Toto ticket with dreams of early retirement is nation building. I love this country. Apparently, the problem with mystery boxes is that you don’t know what you’re getting. It encourages repeated buying.
short story
“I felt like walking into a different country.”
A few years before Covid, a minister shared that when he stepped into a lift, he heard people around him speaking in a language not his own. He said it was the first time he felt like a foreigner in his own country. Back then, I was working in the
Satire
Labels Change With Time
Language is amazing. We don’t change the situation. We just change the name. And suddenly it feels… upgraded. Once upon a time, someone d*ed. Now they are “unalived.” Homeless? No, no. “Unsheltered.” Or even better, “rough sleepers.” Sounds almost adventurous. Like they chose camping as a lifestyle. Manpower
Satire
Singapore’s Fifth Official Language
We Are World Champions at Complaining We complain about the heat. We complain about the rain. We complain when it’s too hot. We complain when it’s too cold in the MRT. We complain about the cost of chicken rice. Then we queue 45 minutes for the “famous” one.
short story
The Most Powerful Man in the Room… Needs the Private
When I was in the military, I used to compare a lot. I was a tiny low-ranking fly buzzing around rooms full of shiny high-ranking officers. Everyone had badges, stars, deep voices. I had… a name tag. Naturally, I felt small. Until I discovered my superpower. I knew something they
short story
Act Blur and Live Longer
In the army, I discovered the most powerful productivity hack ever invented. It’s called Act Blur. Not lazy. Not incompetent. Just… selectively unclear. When I was a recruit, my corporal had a favourite line. “Don’t be a smart aleck.” Translation: Don’t volunteer brilliance. Don’t improve the
short story
The Art of Waiting for Nothing
If there is one skill the army trains to Olympic level, it is waiting. The camp commander says, “All men assemble at 8am.” The OC says, “7.30am.” The platoon sergeant says, “7am.” By the time the message reaches you, you are standing in formation at 6.45am, fully dressed,
short story
The Most Powerful Word in the Army
There is one word in the army so powerful that I cannot even spell it properly. Let’s just call it “Fcuk.” Parents worry that their innocent, wide-eyed sons will come home brainwashed by the military. They are right. But not in the way they think. The first sign is
short story
Standby Bed
In the army, there were many kinds of standby. Standby bed. Standby area. Standby for instructions. Each one had its own unique way of wasting time. But the one every recruit remembers most is Standby Bed. Standby Bed is an inspection of your bunk, locker, and personal belongings. It usually