Satire
We used to fear dangerous addictions. Smoking. Gambling. Opium. Now, we carry the dragon in our pockets. Face ID ready. Fully charged. Welcome to scrolling. A thumb moving endlessly, like it has somewhere important to be. We scroll while eating. While walking. While someone is literally talking to us. It
Satire
Every office has cubicles. And every cubicle tells a story. Yesterday we met the Empty Table Person. Today, we step into something more… complex. Species #2: The Cluttered Table Person Here’s how their cubicle looks: Stacks of paper. Sticky notes layered like geological sediment. The top layer says “Return
Satire
Every office has cubicles. And every cubicle tells a story. You can spend months working beside someone and still not really know them. But walk slowly past their desk, take one quiet look, and suddenly… oh. There they are. The cubicle is not just a desk. It is a psychological
Satire
We Are World-Class. Except for These 5 Things... Singapore runs like a machine. Changi Airport wins awards. Our trains are almost always on time. Our hawker queues move faster than immigration lines in some countries. And yet. Habit #1: The Void Deck Trolley Migration Supermarkets lend you a trolley.
Satire
Singapore has many national tests. PSLE. Driving test. IPPT. But there is one test that reveals far more about a person. The trolley test. No one is watching. No one will fine you. There is no CCTV officer waiting to issue a summons. You have finished shopping. You have pushed
Satire
Everyone is a forensic linguist now. One look at a caption and—boom—“AI detected.” Here is the cheat sheet for the rest of you: First: AI writing is too organized. Human writing is naturally chaotic. A real writer begins with one idea, gets distracted by a memory from 2009,
Satire
Many Singaporean men have a simple shoe philosophy. One pair for work. One pair for weekends. One pair for weddings and funerals. Total: three pairs. Life settled. This is why many men are confused when they see a woman’s shoe rack. There are heels. There are flats. There are
Satire
In Singapore, a bag is not just a bag. It is a biography. You can learn a lot about a person’s CPF contribution, their social standing, and their stress levels just by looking at what hangs from their shoulder. Some people wear their heart on their sleeve; Singaporeans wear
Satire
The government is very concerned about the birth rate. Every year there are reports, incentives, baby bonuses, and romantic national advertisements showing happy couples walking under flowering trees. The trees are flowering. The couples are not. Reason 1: No Space In the kampong days, families had many children. Today we
Satire
Living in Singapore means learning one important life skill: how to say no without actually saying no. American: "Can you do this tomorrow?" "No." Efficient. Slightly shocking. But you get 45 minutes of your life back. Chinese: They don't say no. They say: "
Satire
We all have two personalities: The one that wears slippers at a kopitiam, and the one that 'embraces unexpected opportunities' on LinkedIn. Someone recently complained that LinkedIn is becoming too much like Facebook. According to him, LinkedIn should remain professional. No memes. No gossip. No casual posts. In
Satire
Singapore is probably the only country in the world that believes every national problem can be solved with a campaign. Other countries debate policies. We print posters. Over the years we have had some legendary ones. First there was Stop at Two. Then many years later we had Please Have