Satire
There is one benefit scheme nobody announces. No portal. No application form. No income ceiling. The traditional principle is simple: Married people give. Unmarried people receive. In many Chinese families, if you are unmarried, you are still considered “eligible” for ang pow, whether you are 5, 25, or 65. Age
Satire
Breaking news. Buying a ten-dollar mystery box with a plastic figurine inside is dangerous. Buying a Toto ticket with dreams of early retirement is nation building. I love this country. Apparently, the problem with mystery boxes is that you don’t know what you’re getting. It encourages repeated buying.
Satire
Language is amazing. We don’t change the situation. We just change the name. And suddenly it feels… upgraded. Once upon a time, someone d*ed. Now they are “unalived.” Homeless? No, no. “Unsheltered.” Or even better, “rough sleepers.” Sounds almost adventurous. Like they chose camping as a lifestyle. Manpower
Satire
We Are World Champions at Complaining We complain about the heat. We complain about the rain. We complain when it’s too hot. We complain when it’s too cold in the MRT. We complain about the cost of chicken rice. Then we queue 45 minutes for the “famous” one.
Satire
A book about the sentence you use when you know exactly what to do but would rather not say it. Written by experience. Approved by nobody. P.S. Reading the title is sufficient. Further action is not required at this time.
Satire
An extrovert asked how introverts network. I said, quietly, “We face the walls.” PS: If this made sense to you, I write books for introverts too: https://payhip.com/samchoo/collection/introverts
Satire
I hear it’s for efficiency. No more long queues. No more waiting. No more chaos. Which is funny, because chaos is how I learned most of my life skills. Here’s what I’ll miss. 1. The cai png auntie’s silent judgment She never says anything. She just
Satire
We don’t make love anymore. Not because we don’t love each other. But because life has filed a formal complaint against sex and won. At first, the reasons were normal. “I’m tired.” Fair. I’m tired too. From thinking about being tired. Then it became medical. “My
Satire
I didn’t set out to become a motivational speaker. I set out to get to my office. The lift stopped between floors. Not long enough to panic. Not long enough to press any emergency button. Just long enough for everyone inside to suddenly become very interested in the ceiling.
Satire
This morning at 9am, on my usual walk to Hola for coffee, the air was suddenly filled with loud music. Next to me sat a new customer, a 70-year-old Chinese uncle. Two bottles of beer on the table. His face was red, a little dazed, completely unbothered by the world.
Satire
“What’s the rush?” In Singapore, doing nothing feels illegal. If you sit too long, even your own conscience will ask, “Are you sure you shouldn’t be doing something?” If you tell people you spent the afternoon doing nothing, they look at you the way they look at an
Satire
But the strange thing is, nobody told the people still climbing it. So every morning, we’re still polishing resumes, tweaking LinkedIn headlines, and waiting patiently for the next rung. It’s like showing up at an airport with a perfectly packed suitcase, only to realize the airline shut down