The Fear We Carry Into Old Age Without Saying It

The quiet fear nobody likes to admit

Once, my grandmother tried to help around the house instead of sitting quietly and doing nothing.
She washed the dishes.
But they were not clean. They were still oily.
My mother asked her to stop, because it was making things worse.

I imagine how my grandmother must have felt.
Not useful.
Not needed.
In the way.

There is a fear most people will never say out loud.
It is the fear of becoming irrelevant while still alive.
Of being here, but not needed.
Present, but not consulted.
Alive, but no longer part of the flow.

Many people sense it coming and respond by shrinking early.
They withdraw. stop offering and stop sharing opinions.
It shows up as boredom, low energy and a quiet sadness.

I don’t think my grandmother wanted to wash dishes because she loved dishes.
I think she wanted to matter.
To feel part of something.
To feel useful in her own way.

And maybe that is what many of us want too.
Not to be busy.
Not to prove anything.
Just to still belong.

Perhaps the question is not,
“Am I still capable?”
But quietly, honestly:
“Where do I still matter?”

Because as long as that question is alive,
there is still a place for us in this world

P.S. I am the author of 'Life after 65'. Check out my bookstore at https://payhip.com/samchoo