Things Nobody Tells You About Owning a Car in Singapore
1. Your Car Is Probably the Most Expensive Thing You’ll Ever Fall in Love With
Your car may cost more than your wedding. Possibly more than your degree.
You don’t own a car in Singapore. The car owns you.
You feed it petrol.
You pay COE.
You pay ERP.
You pay parking.
You pay road tax.
You pay insurance.
You pay for the privilege of being stuck in traffic.
And after 10 years, the government gently taps your shoulder:
“Time’s up. Renew your subscription or let it go.”
At least our marriage doesn't come with a 10-year expiry date.
2. The 'Singaporean Shake.'
Scene: Malaysia petrol station.
Car door opens.
Singapore uncle steps out.
Uncle shaking the car like he's trying to wake it up.
Why?
To “settle the petrol.”
Because every drop matters.
Because we need that extra 0.2 liters to justify the 2-hour jam at the Causeway.
He will pump until the number looks symmetrical.
Calculate exchange rate faster than a currency trader.
Take photo of the receipt.
Savings: $8.
Satisfaction: Shiok.
3. Singapore Driving Exam Is Harder Than University
Parallel parking feels like NASA docking simulation.
One tiny mistake. Immediate failure.
You can pass O-level Math.
You can graduate from university.
You can still fail parking.
The tester sits beside you in complete silence. No expression. No feedback. Just quiet judgment — like a Singaporean parent at your piano recital.
4. Why Every Singaporean Thinks Their Car Is an Investment (Spoiler: It's Not)
Friend buys car.
Immediately says:
“Resale value still good.”
Bro.
After 10 years it disappears like Avengers dust. After 10 years, the car doesn't go to a second-hand dealer. It goes to the afterlife.
This is not property.
This is not an asset.
This is a 10-year emotional lease with depreciation.
5. The ERP Gantry Anxiety
You see ERP ahead.
Brain switches to survival mode.
Is the IU card inside?
Check. Enough balance? Please God, let there be enough balance. Why is it $5 today?
Your entire mood now depends on one small electronic beep.
That 'Deee-low' sound that tells you your Kopi money just flew away
6. The Singapore Car Starter Pack
If you drive in Singapore, your car probably contains:
Sunshade.
Tissue box in the back seat (for all the crying you do about COE).
Three umbrellas (one for you, one for your passenger, one for the unexpected typhoon).
Parking coupons from 2004 (you never know when they might become vintage collector's items).
Old EZ-Link cards that may or may not work.
Emergency coins for cashcard top-up.
And one mysterious button you have never dared to press, fearing it might launch you into Johor Bahru or activate the car's self-destruct sequence.
7. The HDB Carpark Romance
Every night, someone sits inside their car after parking.
Engine off.
Phone glow on face.
Scrolling quietly.
Not ready to go upstairs.
The car becomes office.
Therapy room.
Escape pod.
In Singapore, your car is sometimes the only private space you can afford without booking a room.
8. COE Prices Explained to Foreigners
Foreigner:
“How much is a car?”
Singaporean:
“Depends. With COE?”
Foreigner:
“What is COE?”
Singaporean:
“It’s like bidding for permission to exist on the road for 10 years, and it costs more than the car itself”
Foreigner:
“…why?”
Singaporean:
“…traffic control.”
Foreigner:
“…do you need therapy?”
9. Why Singapore Cars Look So New
Because when you pay six figures for it,
You wash it more carefully than you manage your own stress.
Scratch on car: Heart-pain until cannot sleep.
Scratch on own leg: Put Tiger Balm can already.
10. The White Envelope from LTA
It’s the only mail that makes your heart stop. You immediately start counting your remaining demerit points like they’re life savings. Open it... 'Road Tax Renewal.' You feel like you just escaped a death sentence, then remember you still have to pay $800.
