Satire
Singapore is probably the only country in the world that believes every national problem can be solved with a campaign. Other countries debate policies. We print posters. Over the years we have had some legendary ones. First there was Stop at Two. Then many years later we had Please Have
Satire
Singaporeans like to complain about Malaysia. The Causeway jam. The politics. The ringgit. Everything also complain. But here's the truth. We are obsessed with Malaysia. Malaysia is Singapore's favourite weekend hobby, side hustle, and therapy combined. First, the food. Almost everything shiok we eat has Malaysian
Satire
Nothing in Singapore is actually from Singapore. People, food, talent, ideas. Everything seems to arrive by plane. We’re not a country. We’re a 24-hour airport with HDB flats and a Michelin star. Your HDB was built by Bangladesh, your streets are swept by India, and your blood
Satire
They say do what you love. I love going home. Unfortunately my job loves overtime.
Satire
Singaporeans are extremely well-behaved. Possibly Olympic level. Our rulebook is so thick it could qualify as light reading for National Day. We don’t litter. We don’t smoke anywhere we feel like. We clear our trays after eating. We don’t eat or drink on the MRT. Not
micro memoir
I was 17 years old, still a virgin, still innocent about the world. Long hair. About to enlist in National Service. Living with my parents in a three-room HDB flat at Sims Drive.
Poem
54 years ago, I sat by the rock at East Coast Park. The birds in the tree were chirping. The waves were licking the beach. The wind was caressing my face. I was young, single and wondering what the future hold. Today I went back to the same rock, an
Satire
Last time I used to laugh at this whole “AI will take your job” thing. I said, relax lah. Robots cannot replace humans. Humans got heart. Humans got soul. Humans got CPF. Then I looked at how we actually work. A robot wakes up on time. We wake up, snooze
Satire
When a problem appears, we don’t panic. We activate the Five Sacred Tools. #1: Form a Task Force Birth rate dropping? Form a committee. Parenting stressful? Form a workgroup. Cost of living rising? Form a panel to study it. Nothing says “we are serious” like a 147-page report.
Tips
If I post a photo of a baby monkey hugging a toy, you scroll. Cute. Next. But give him a name. Tell you he lost his mother. Say this toy is the only thing he clings to at night. Suddenly he is not “a monkey.” He is Punch. He is
micro memoir
Yesterday, students opened their envelopes. Forty-eight years ago, I opened mine. I was studying at Our Lady of Lourdes English School. For two years, after school, I headed to Toa Payoh library and stayed until closing time. Studying was torture because I hated studying. I could not remember what
Satire
Dear Esteemed Leaders, We have a situation. Our fertility rate has dropped again. The spreadsheets are trembling. The projections look like a slow-motion disappearance. Economists are concerned. Demographers are worried. Task forces are forming as we speak. Allow me to help. As a loyal citizen with zero statistical qualifications
