Satire
We Are World Champions at Complaining We complain about the heat. We complain about the rain. We complain when it’s too hot. We complain when it’s too cold in the MRT. We complain about the cost of chicken rice. Then we queue 45 minutes for the “famous” one.
short story
When I was in the military, I used to compare a lot. I was a tiny low-ranking fly buzzing around rooms full of shiny high-ranking officers. Everyone had badges, stars, deep voices. I had… a name tag. Naturally, I felt small. Until I discovered my superpower. I knew
short story
In the army, I discovered the most powerful productivity hack ever invented. It’s called Act Blur. Not lazy. Not incompetent. Just… selectively unclear. When I was a recruit, my corporal had a favourite line. “Don’t be a smart aleck.” Translation: Don’t volunteer brilliance. Don’t improve the
short story
If there is one skill the army trains to Olympic level, it is waiting. The camp commander says, “All men assemble at 8am.” The OC says, “7.30am.” The platoon sergeant says, “7am.” By the time the message reaches you, you are standing in formation at 6.45am, fully dressed,
short story
There is one word in the army so powerful that I cannot even spell it properly. Let’s just call it “Fcuk.” Parents worry that their innocent, wide-eyed sons will come home brainwashed by the military. They are right. But not in the way they think. The first sign
short story
In the army, there were many kinds of standby. Standby bed. Standby area. Standby for instructions. Each one had its own unique way of wasting time. But the one every recruit remembers most is Standby Bed. Standby Bed is an inspection of your bunk, locker, and personal belongings. It usually
short story
Probably for the first time, officers and NCOs were thrown into the same batch and trained to become SAF Boys’ instructors. No rank buffer. We were trained by the commandos on top of a small hill in Changi, living in an two-storey colonial bungalow. Before every meal, we did
short story
Drills never made sense to me back then. Under the blazing sun, I learned Malay words I still remember today. Kanan pusing. Kiri pusing. Left turn, right turn, repeat until your brain melts before your body does. At night, we polished our boots until we could see our teeth in
micro memoir
These shoes were my faithful companions. They walked with me through life’s snow and storms. Now worn out, left behind while I continue on alone.
short story
Life Lessons from the Armed Forces – Punctuality In the army, punctuality is not a suggestion. It is a survival skill. Be late by one minute and you don’t get a warning. You get punished. Your weekend disappears. While your buddies are shopping, eating good food, or dating their girlfriends,
micro memoir
I asked the lawyer for a photocopy. His clerk pressed a button. One minute passed. The bill was $50. That minute was worth more than some people’s entire day. PS True story
micro memoir
I can’t give you a pendant. But I can give you my heart. And, honestly, my empty wallet too.
