Satire
We Are World-Class. Except for These 5 Things... Singapore runs like a machine. Changi Airport wins awards. Our trains are almost always on time. Our hawker queues move faster than immigration lines in some countries. And yet. Habit #1: The Void Deck Trolley Migration Supermarkets lend you a trolley. You
Satire
Singapore has many national tests. PSLE. Driving test. IPPT. But there is one test that reveals far more about a person. The trolley test. No one is watching. No one will fine you. There is no CCTV officer waiting to issue a summons. You have finished shopping. You have pushed
Satire
Everyone is a forensic linguist now. One look at a caption and—boom—“AI detected.” Here is the cheat sheet for the rest of you: First: AI writing is too organized. Human writing is naturally chaotic. A real writer begins with one idea, gets distracted by a memory from 2009,
Satire
Many Singaporean men have a simple shoe philosophy. One pair for work. One pair for weekends. One pair for weddings and funerals. Total: three pairs. Life settled. This is why many men are confused when they see a woman’s shoe rack. There are heels. There are flats. There are
Satire
In Singapore, a bag is not just a bag. It is a biography. You can learn a lot about a person’s CPF contribution, their social standing, and their stress levels just by looking at what hangs from their shoulder. Some people wear their heart on their sleeve; Singaporeans wear
Satire
The government is very concerned about the birth rate. Every year there are reports, incentives, baby bonuses, and romantic national advertisements showing happy couples walking under flowering trees. The trees are flowering. The couples are not. Reason 1: No Space In the kampong days, families had many children. Today we
Satire
Living in Singapore means learning one important life skill: how to say no without actually saying no. American: "Can you do this tomorrow?" "No." Efficient. Slightly shocking. But you get 45 minutes of your life back. Chinese: They don't say no. They say: "
Satire
We all have two personalities: The one that wears slippers at a kopitiam, and the one that 'embraces unexpected opportunities' on LinkedIn. Someone recently complained that LinkedIn is becoming too much like Facebook. According to him, LinkedIn should remain professional. No memes. No gossip. No casual posts. In
Satire
Singapore is probably the only country in the world that believes every national problem can be solved with a campaign. Other countries debate policies. We print posters. Over the years we have had some legendary ones. First there was Stop at Two. Then many years later we had Please Have
Satire
Singaporeans like to complain about Malaysia. The Causeway jam. The politics. The ringgit. Everything also complain. But here's the truth. We are obsessed with Malaysia. Malaysia is Singapore's favourite weekend hobby, side hustle, and therapy combined. First, the food. Almost everything shiok we eat has Malaysian
Satire
Nothing in Singapore is actually from Singapore. People, food, talent, ideas. Everything seems to arrive by plane. We’re not a country. We’re a 24-hour airport with HDB flats and a Michelin star. Your HDB was built by Bangladesh, your streets are swept by India, and your blood is
Satire
They say do what you love. I love going home. Unfortunately my job loves overtime.