Satire
Singaporeans are extremely well-behaved. Possibly Olympic level. Our rulebook is so thick it could qualify as light reading for National Day. We don’t litter. We don’t smoke anywhere we feel like. We clear our trays after eating. We don’t eat or drink on the MRT. Not because
Satire
Last time I used to laugh at this whole “AI will take your job” thing. I said, relax lah. Robots cannot replace humans. Humans got heart. Humans got soul. Humans got CPF. Then I looked at how we actually work. A robot wakes up on time. We wake up, snooze
Satire
When a problem appears, we don’t panic. We activate the Five Sacred Tools. #1: Form a Task Force Birth rate dropping? Form a committee. Parenting stressful? Form a workgroup. Cost of living rising? Form a panel to study it. Nothing says “we are serious” like a 147-page report. #2:
Satire
Dear Esteemed Leaders, We have a situation. Our fertility rate has dropped again. The spreadsheets are trembling. The projections look like a slow-motion disappearance. Economists are concerned. Demographers are worried. Task forces are forming as we speak. Allow me to help. As a loyal citizen with zero statistical qualifications but
Satire
Buy them chilli crab. Happy wife, peaceful life. Still cheaper than therapy.
Satire
Current population: 6.1 million. Follow a Singaporean for one day. 8.23am. Step into the MRT. You don't step in. You merge. We are not overcrowded. We are emotionally close. There is no personal space. Only national unity. United cheek to cheek. United armpit to face. Someone&
Satire
1. Your Car Is Probably the Most Expensive Thing You’ll Ever Fall in Love With Your car may cost more than your wedding. Possibly more than your degree. You don’t own a car in Singapore. The car owns you. You feed it petrol. You pay COE. You pay
Satire
We are patient people. We queue. We wait. We endure. But hunger changes everything. Below are 6 situations that can turn a calm person into a silent volcano. Is Chope-ing with a tissue packet a national right or a national sin? Fight it out in the comments 1. The Café
Satire
You know you’re Singaporean when this irritates you. We are calm people. Until someone does one of these. Below are behaviours that can raise blood pressure faster than peak-hour ERP. Like the comment that annoys you most. Defend your choice in the comments. Tag the friend who is guilty.
Satire
Nobody announced these rules. There was no Town Hall. No WhatsApp poll. But somehow… we all follow them. 1. The Chope Covenant: If a table has a pack of tissue, it is legally occupied. Even if the owner is still queuing three streets away. 2. The MRT Gauntlet: If the
Satire
I am the strictest boss I have ever worked for. When I failed to hit my own KPIs, I called myself into a meeting. No appeal. No warning letter. Immediate termination. Now I am unemployed, and still reporting to the same boss tomorrow.
short story
Boom. That’s the question. It arrives before the bak kwa plate finishes one round. Before the pineapple tarts settle in your stomach. Before you even sit down properly. “So… where are you working now?” And just like that, you become the reunion dinner entertainment. The spotlight switches on in