Satire
Singaporeans like to complain about Malaysia. The Causeway jam. The politics. The ringgit. Everything also complain. But here's the truth. We are obsessed with Malaysia. Malaysia is Singapore's favourite weekend hobby, side hustle, and therapy combined. First, the food. Almost everything shiok we eat has Malaysian
Satire
Nothing in Singapore is actually from Singapore. People, food, talent, ideas. Everything seems to arrive by plane. We’re not a country. We’re a 24-hour airport with HDB flats and a Michelin star. Your HDB was built by Bangladesh, your streets are swept by India, and your blood
Satire
They say do what you love. I love going home. Unfortunately my job loves overtime.
Satire
Singaporeans are extremely well-behaved. Possibly Olympic level. Our rulebook is so thick it could qualify as light reading for National Day. We don’t litter. We don’t smoke anywhere we feel like. We clear our trays after eating. We don’t eat or drink on the MRT. Not
Satire
Last time I used to laugh at this whole “AI will take your job” thing. I said, relax lah. Robots cannot replace humans. Humans got heart. Humans got soul. Humans got CPF. Then I looked at how we actually work. A robot wakes up on time. We wake up, snooze
Satire
When a problem appears, we don’t panic. We activate the Five Sacred Tools. #1: Form a Task Force Birth rate dropping? Form a committee. Parenting stressful? Form a workgroup. Cost of living rising? Form a panel to study it. Nothing says “we are serious” like a 147-page report.
Satire
Dear Esteemed Leaders, We have a situation. Our fertility rate has dropped again. The spreadsheets are trembling. The projections look like a slow-motion disappearance. Economists are concerned. Demographers are worried. Task forces are forming as we speak. Allow me to help. As a loyal citizen with zero statistical qualifications
Satire
Buy them chilli crab. Happy wife, peaceful life. Still cheaper than therapy.
Satire
Current population: 6.1 million. Follow a Singaporean for one day. 8.23am. Step into the MRT. You don't step in. You merge. We are not overcrowded. We are emotionally close. There is no personal space. Only national unity. United cheek to cheek. United armpit to face. Someone&
Satire
1. Your Car Is Probably the Most Expensive Thing You’ll Ever Fall in Love With Your car may cost more than your wedding. Possibly more than your degree. You don’t own a car in Singapore. The car owns you. You feed it petrol. You pay COE. You pay
Satire
We are patient people. We queue. We wait. We endure. But hunger changes everything. Below are 6 situations that can turn a calm person into a silent volcano. Is Chope-ing with a tissue packet a national right or a national sin? Fight it out in the comments 1. The
Satire
You know you’re Singaporean when this irritates you. We are calm people. Until someone does one of these. Below are behaviours that can raise blood pressure faster than peak-hour ERP. Like the comment that annoys you most. Defend your choice in the comments. Tag the friend who is