Alive, After Losing Everything
I should be dead.
At least, that is what it felt like.
I lost the two things that mattered most in my life. I lost money. I lost my health.
There were moments when I thought I had lost every reason to live.
But I am still here.
I suffered three strokes.
There was a time when I became what people call a “vegetable.”
It is a strange word. But the experience is even stranger.
You can hear everything. You know what is happening around you. But you cannot speak. You cannot move. Your body does not respond.
I could hear someone calling my name, but I could not answer.
You are fully aware, but completely trapped.
It felt like being locked inside my own body. I wanted to say something. I wanted to move. I wanted to let someone know I was still there.
But nothing happened.
Time stretched in a way I cannot explain. A few days felt like forever. The world became blank, almost like a white space without shape or direction.
That was the lowest point of my life.
When I slowly came back, I did not come back the same.
What helped me was something unexpected.
The I Ching.
Most people see it as a book. For me, it became a way to understand life again.
One idea stayed with me. Yin and Yang.
Life is never just one thing. There is always light and darkness, gain and loss, good and bad. They come together. They take turns.
When life is good, do not assume it will stay that way forever. When life is dark, do not assume it will last forever either.
Everything moves.
Looking back, I no longer see my losses as separate events. They were part of a larger pattern.
The end of something is also the beginning of something else.
Not always what we want. But often what we need.
Today, I am still alive.
Not because I avoided suffering. But because I went through it.
“Everything that happens is always the best arrangement from the universe.” ~ Kenneth Ong
Disclaimer:
This story is a narrative reconstruction based on a live sharing by Kenneth Ong. Some details have been interpreted or expanded for storytelling purposes.
